Ed Reardon's Week

Now, a side-trip for Ed Reardon's Week, a comedic tour de force from BBC 4, written by Chris Douglas and Andrew Nickolds and starring Chris Douglas as Ed Reardon.

Ed, a once barely successful writer, now pathetically past his prime, is prone to fevered rants. While the one below isn't his most spectacular, it is one of my favorites due to the multifaceted arrogance and the undertones of Ed's weaknesses (penury, pedantry, and bitterness). I've transcribed it from the beginning of "The Libel Action," the last episode (aired 19 January 2007)of the third and most recent season of the program. We begin with Ed telephoning his local council, interrupted by a brief voicover where he relates what he's typing in his journal, and then we return for the denoument of the call.

Ed speaking on the phone
Hello? Can I speak to someone connected with the Council's "Towards a Brighter Berkhamsted campaign?" [Pause] Well, yes it could be either of those departments because it could be an environmental issue but it's also as you may have deduced from the tone of my voice a complaint.

Ed's voiceover interrupts while he types his diary entry:
"Monday. What was it exactly that made local councils the length and breadth of the country decide that all street furniture should sanctify the Victorian era? It seems no town centre is complete without gold and black painted bollards, cast iron signs pointing gothically to the disabled toilets in the short stay car park, and perpetually dripping hanging baskets, making a trip to a news agents' for the innocent pipe smoker an unwarranted hazard. And whereas 150 years ago small boys used to be sent up chimneys or down the mines, now the 12-year olds are given six figure salaries to come up with slogans such as "It's time to big up Berko!" -- the inspirational text which shouts at me from my morning mail.

Ed, continuing the phone call to his local council:
Yes, I'm looking at the letter concerning the renovations to the parade of shops above which I live. Yes, it seems I'm being asked to contribute 900 pounds towards the carving of the words "Parade Emporiums" on the pediment above my flat.

[Pause]

Well I'll tell you exactly what the problem is. It could hardly be a less appropriate heading for a nail bar, a chip shop, and a hairdresser's stroke tattoo parlor, even if the correct usage "emporia" were to be applied, which I don't suppose is at all likely.

[Pause]

Well, look, I have no desire to be accused of child abuse this early in the day, but if you think for a moment that I'm prepared to fork out for a piece of [ Yelling angrily ] BOGUS VICTORIANA WHICH I NEITHER WANT NOR RECOGNIZE AS A CORRECT PLURAL FORM THEN.... hello? Hello? No. Gone.

All three seasons are hilarious. Recommended.

Robert Cox: Playing Possum

Robert Cox of the slimy Olbermannwatch blog, has supposedly closed the site and moved on. However, look at the image he uses to shutter his site:



That, ladies and gentlemen, is an oppossum, or possum -- as in the phrase "playing possum."

Playing Possum

Playing possum is a phrase that, taken literally, means to pretend to be dead.
[ ..... ]

"Playing possum" can also mean simply pretending to be injured, unconscious, or otherwise vulnerable, often to lure an opponent into a vulnerable position himself.

Robert Cox isn't gone. He's just playing possum. Maybe he's just going to do more idiocy like this.
.
[As is obvious from this post, all props to the blog Watching OlbermannWatch.]]

Republico

Republico

Republico

Republico !

Many more to come, I'm sure.

Ironist

Brendan Bernhard New York Sun: "....ironist — someone who says things she doesn't mean and (through moreor-less subtle contextual winks) expects us to intuit an unstated, smarter message underneath"

I'll think about that a bit.

Sacrificial Lame

Bush's :

The BBC has been told by a senior administration source that the speech setting out changes in Mr Bush's Iraq policy is likely to come in the middle of next week.

Its central theme will be sacrifice.

Yeah, sacrifice your intelligence to the genius of George W. Bush.

Sounds like a winner.

"Reinvade Iraq!" is the Rallying Cry

Kargro X rightly calls it escalation, but I generally refer to plans such as this one by Jack Keane and Frederick W. Kagan as the "Reinvade Iraq" plan.

I'm Not an Advisor to Bush 41, but...

...I concur with this one at least

"We have a classic case of circling the wagons," says a former adviser to Bush the elder. "If President Bush changes his policy in Iraq in a fundamental way, it undermines the whole premise of his presidency. I just don't believe he will ever do that."

We're screwed.

Marc Maron Radio Lives! Kinda...

Fans of Marc Maron's hilarious radio work can rejoice. As Maron put it in an email announcement:

My buddy Patrick has created a stream of all of the Morning Sedition and The Marc Maron Show radio comedy bits. These are bits written and performed over the last two years by some of the most talented comedy writers and performers ever brought together as you know. Enjoy them at:

http://pjs.sytes.net:8888/

Just click listen!

Lawton Smalls! Cardinal Milfington! Sammy the Stem Cell! And many more!

Thank you Marc, thank you Patrick, and thank you The Internets.

Now if only some smart radio station or network would pick up Maron so the funny can rise again.

Curious?

What's this about? Click here or check Digby here.

• AZ-Sen: Jon Kyl
  
  
• AZ-01: Rick Renzi
  
  
• AZ-05: J.D. Hayworth
  
  
• CA-04: John Doolittle
  
  
• CA-11: Richard Pombo
  
  
• CA-50: Brian Bilbray
  
  
  
• CO-04: Marilyn Musgrave
  
  
• CO-05: Doug Lamborn
  
  
• CO-07: Rick O'Donnell
  
  
• CT-04: Christopher Shays
  
  
• FL-13: Vernon Buchanan
  
  
• FL-16: Joe Negron
  
  
  
• FL-22: Clay Shaw
  
  
• ID-01: Bill Sali
  
  
• IL-06: Peter Roskam
  
  
• IL-10: Mark Kirk
  
  
• IL-14: Dennis Hastert
  
  
• IN-02: Chris Chocola
  
  
  
• IN-08: John Hostettler
  
  
• IA-01: Mike Whalen
  
  
• KS-02: Jim Ryun
  
  
• KY-03: Anne Northup
  
  
• KY-04: Geoff Davis
  
  
• MD-Sen: Michael Steele
  
  
  
• MN-01: Gil Gutknecht
  
  
• MN-06: Michele Bachmann
  
  
• MO-Sen: Jim Talent
  
  
• MT-Sen: Conrad Burns
  
  
• NV-03: Jon Porter
  
  
• NH-02: Charlie Bass
  
  
  
• NJ-07: Mike Ferguson
  
  
• NM-01: Heather Wilson
  
  
• NY-03: Peter King
  
  
• NY-20: John Sweeney
  
  
• NY-26: Tom Reynolds
  
  
• NY-29: Randy Kuhl
  
  
  
• NC-08: Robin Hayes
  
  
• NC-11: Charles Taylor
  
  
• OH-01: Steve Chabot
  
  
• OH-02: Jean Schmidt
  
  
• OH-15: Deborah Pryce
  
  
• OH-18: Joy Padgett
  
  
  
• PA-04: Melissa Hart
  
  
• PA-07: Curt Weldon
  
  
• PA-08: Mike Fitzpatrick
  
  
• PA-10: Don Sherwood
  
  
• RI-Sen: Lincoln Chafee
  
  
• TN-Sen: Bob Corker
  
  
  
• VA-Sen: George Allen
  
  
• VA-10: Frank Wolf
  
  
• WA-Sen: Mike McGavick
  
  
• WA-08: Dave Reichert
  

Really Made Me Laugh

Tristero at Digby's Hullabaloo presents a delicious irony with a creamy sulfuric acid center:

"Poor Chris Hitchens. There isn't enough bourbon in the world to erase the horror and humiliation he must be enduring now that he knows that Henry Kissinger - Henry Kissinger - was a major Bush adviser for the Iraq fiasco. Oh, the humanity!"

What a sucker!

Cheney Wants His War With Iran

NPR : Pentagon Iran Office Mimics Former Iraq Office

The Pentagon has created a new desk to work on Iran policy. That worries some at the CIA, who point out that many of the new Iran-desk staffers are the same people who staffed the now-notorious Office of Special Plans in the run-up to the Iraq war.

They were among the cheerleaders for the disastrous war with Iraq, now they are going to apply their genius to get us into war with Iran.

Remember, war with Iran could lead to really unpleasant consequences for the American economy--Bush and Cheney like wars they don't have to fight, but merely want to fight. And if war ever proves absolutely necessary, you don't want George W. Bush running it.

But Iran is the war they want.

Iran: The War They Desire

It's fairly obvious by now that, once again, the Republicans don't want accurate intelligence about a problematic country: they want to twist intelligence in order to bring about the next war on their checklist.

And the principal writer of their most recent war prelude is Frederick Fleitz. He's a handmaiden of Dick Cheney, who never met a war he didn't like, except he didn't like to fight the one he was of age to be a soldier in.

They want a war with Iran. I hope they don't get it.

As Martin Walker (via Steve Clemons) points out, the US is playing poker and Iran is playing chess. Iran is so much stronger than it was when Bush came to office, and the US is so much weaker in nearly every important way.

It's a pathetic situation for a great nation to be in. But I'm thinking that a country that could install GW Bush as president twice may not be as great as it once was -- the guy is obviously way over his head. It's sad to be governed by such a dolt when we're facing incredible challenges that towel-snapping and bluster will not deliver us from.

We may eventually actually have to go to war with Iran. But if we do, we should know what that means.

It would not be like Iraq, where we'd just be inconveniced by "bad pictures" on our TV sets.

Iran really will retaliate--on our troops in Iraq and against the US and the West anywhere else they want.

In all likelihood, they'll hit petroleum chokepoints in various canny ways that will increase the price of oil to something we'd have thought of as science fiction just a few years ago. Oil in three digits a barrel. And when one thing gets sorted out, another chokepoint would blow.

Remember: Israel thought their recent war would eliminate Hezbollah. It didn't. Israel is in worse shape than before. War with Iran would be like the Lebanon skirmish writ globally.

I'd figure a war (even a "limited bombing campaign") against Iran would have a great chance of setting off a global depression.

It's very possible that gas would be going to the military, at very expensive prices and increasing our debt (the Chinese would buy more of our debt). Putting gas in your car would be staggeringly expensive. Getting goods to stores would be, too -- consumer prices would skyrocket.

For those who still have relatives who lived through the Great Depression, ask them how much fun that was. The Bushes, the Cheney's and their friends could probably weather it. The rest of us would be screwed in unimaginable ways.

Instead of talking to Iran, as repugnant as that regime is, it seems that Cheney and Bush and the Republican crazies are committed to a path that will leave Iran hurting but the US is in dire straits.

Scares the shit out of me, these freaks. They learned nothing from their failures in Iraq.

England was once a global empire, too. Perhaps Niall Ferguson can tell us how the British Empire weathered decades 1-4 of the 20th Century, since he is urging the US to become more of an empire in this century.

It's like the grinding occupation of Iraq: they wanted a nice little limited war: instead, the war they got is not quite the war they wanted.

But this time it wouldn't just be bad pictures on the television. It could well be a total transformation of the US way of life via a global depression brought on by the war they want.

These Republicans have learned nothing. I hope the country has but, hell, it elected an idiot prince as President twice.

Taking Colbert's Oysters for Walkies

HaloScan Comments of Genius

From the comments at Harry Hutton's excellent place,

David C crystallizes the issue: "Why can't these terror chaps target the budget airlines? That way they'd get to make their dubious points without injuring anyone of consequence."

Hating on the DLC

Matt Taibi:

The DLC are the lowest kind of scum; we're talking about people who are paid by the likes of Eli Lilly and Union Carbide to go on television and call suburban moms and college kids who happen to be against the war commies and jihadists. On the ignominious-sellout scale, that's lower than doing PR for a utility that turns your grandmother's heat off at Christmas.

Hah!

Today's Words of Wisdom

Any guesses why I've thought of Lebanon Bologna recently?

Heed this comment on that page:

"Sweet mother of God, if you're going to preserve meats, make sure you get the recipe right so you don't kill anyone. "

Also: Prague Powder #2? Corn syrup solids? Powdered Dextrose?

Fermento? FERMENTO!?

I realize one is not supposed to see how sausage or laws are made, but this takes it into entirely different territory than I'd previously considered.

Onward Christian Soldiers

Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki addresses Congress today.

Send us more of your soldiers to die and be maimed for Iraq!
Send us more of your taxpayer dollars to Iraq!

My power flows from the end of your guns. Thanks, suckers!

Still True

I've been reminded of this old story quite a bit recently.

True 'dat.

Important enough to smash the silence

If you're like me, you've been looking for the email that crazy Dr. Nicholas Bartha wrote before he (allegedly) blew up his Manhattan townhouse. Thanks to Gawker, I found a copy of it. Unfortunately, it's a PDF file but it's worth a read anyway.

The guy's definitely a hardcore Republican. And he's definitely crazy-- in more than just your standard wingnut way. Or maybe it's just hypertrophied into this nutsiness.

Also, here's a New York State appeals court decision concerning his divorce. His wife filed for divorce on grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment, and was granted the divorce.

Here's Dr Bartha in action:

We affirm the determination awarding a divorce to plaintiff on grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment. Plaintiff's proof, when viewed cumulatively, established by a preponderance of the credible evidence that defendant had engaged in a course of conduct which was harmful to the plaintiff's physical and mental health, thus rendering cohabitation unsafe or improper (Domestic Relations Law § 170 [1]).

This was not a case of ordinary marital dissatisfaction or even "riotous quarrels" as defendant suggests. Defendant intentionally traumatized plaintiff, a woman of Jewish origin born in Nazi-occupied Holland, with swastika-adorned articles and notes affixed around their home, and became enraged when she removed them. He ignored her need for support and assistance while she was undergoing surgery and treatment for breast cancer (see Siczewicz v Siczewicz, 92 AD2d 915, 916 [1983], appeal dismissed 59 NY2d 968 [1983]). He systematically cut off her access to marital funds and credit as a means of psychological abuse.

What a sweetheart.

2006 Commencement Address

Stephen Colbert gave the commencement address at Knox College yesterday. It's up in full on the College's website, and it's good:

Colbert's 2006 Commencement Address

One bit:

And when you enter the workforce, you will find competition from those crossing our all-too-poorest borders. Now I know you’re all going to say, “Stephen, Stephen, immigrants built America.” Yes, and here’s the thing—it’s built now. I think it was finished in the 70s sometime. From this point it’s only a touch-up and repair job. Essentially if Congress enacts it, soon English will be the official language of America. Because if we surrender the national anthem, the next thing you know, they’ll be translating the Bible. God wrote it in English for a reason! So it could be taught in our public schools.