Artisanal Document Destruction

In order to keep nosy paparazzi and garbage-trawlers away from my financial details, I purchased a decent shredder. It makes fine short strips and would possibly thwart even the reassembly skills of Iranian Revolutionaries.

But my shredder is mechanized and mindless and has no soul. No élan vital. So I've decided to rend my papers by hand, with the help of the 5-bladed shredding hand scissors available at the retailer MicroCenter.Soon, shredding will once again be an act of personal expression and fulfillment.

[I may be prepared to provide this service for a fee for the discerning and profligate who appreciate sustainable craftsmanship.]

Shoe-bury-ness? Really?

With a punishing austerity budget due to descend upon Britain (my thoughts are with you), it's time for lefty troubadour Billy Bragg to speak up for the ragged masses.

Let's get enthused about road maintenance with his stirring song A13 Trunk Road to the Sea, which is basically (Get Your Kicks on) Route 66. Kind of.



Lyrics [with notes] from Braggtopia:

A13 TRUNK ROAD TO THE SEA

If you ever have to go to Shoeburyness
Take the A road, the OK road that's the best
Go motorin' on the A13

If you're looking for a thrill that's new
Take in Fords [The Ford factory in Dagenham], Dartford Tunnel [Road tunnel under the River Thames to the east of London] and the river [The River Thames] too
Go motorin' on the A13

It starts down in Wapping
There ain't no stopping
By-pass Barking [Billy Bragg's birthplace] and straight through Dagenham
Down to Grays Thurrock
And rather near Basildon
Pitsea, Thundersley, Hadleigh, Leigh-On-Sea,
Chalkwell, Prittlewell
Southend's the end

If you ever have to go to Shoeburyness
Take the A road, the OK road that's the best
Go motorin' on the A13

Goat Confiscation in Virginia

Bedford authorities find goat in trunk at DUI checkpoint

"She told deputies she is from the United Kingdom and transporting goats in this manner is acceptable there."

According to Ms. Enderdy--who said she had kindly obtained the animal as a pet for her four Kenyan passengers--the standards of caprine conveyance in the UK are lamentable. Please, Britishers, leave your livestock handling practices behind when you come to the USA.

Life By the Throat-- With Dijeridoo

Wilhelm Reich was a castoff of early psychoanalysis who believed that the energy of life, including that from orgasms, was a distinguishable and collectible force called "orgone energy." An orgone accumulator could be built (and he built them-- in part for which he was imprisoned in the USA and his books were burned) which would enable those positioned in the small cabinet to be revitalized by the forces of life and of ecstasy

Yes indeed, that's a schematic outline of part of the most prurient of Reich's ideas.

The Serbian filmmaker Dusan Makavejev used those Reichian themes and more to shape a "70's ludicrous," * tedious and hilarious movie called WR: Mysteries of the Organism in 1971.

Makavejev subsequently made a well received "serious" movie called Montenegro in 1981 dealing with political themes from his native Yugoslavia and beyond.

Four years later, for some reason we can only celebrate, an international consortium paid for Makevejev to create a sublime concoction of politics, commerce, surreal humor, cultural imperialism and romantic comedy called The Coca-Cola Kid. Eric Roberts plays a good-ole southern boy sent to the Australian outback to capture for American business the drinking habits of one of the few places in the world that had not yet succumbed to Coke.

It's a universal movie; it resonates more over the decades. It features a luminous Greta Scacchi. It has fewer Australians than expected in lead roles. And yet, as a character in the following clip jests, it's "As Australian as a barbed wire canoe. It's as Australian as a shit sandwich."

This movie will repay your attention but it's not what you expect.

Behold Neil Finn of Crowded House toying with the American corporatist for all he's worth and then performing the best Coca-Cola jingle that the corporation would never allow to represent it.



Lyrics:

Don't want to go
Where there's no Coca-Cola

You've got

Life by the throat
When you're drinking Coke

Choke back the tears
When there's no Coca-Cola

You've got

Life by the throat
When you're drinking Coke

Under the hot sun
When the day is done
And you're dying of thirst
There's only one drink
It's universal

Don't want to go
Where there's no Coca-Cola

You've got

Life by the throat
When you're drinking Coke
Choke back the tears
When there's no Coca-Cola

You've got

Life by the throat
When you're drinking Coke
Life by the throat
When you're drinking Coke

Life by the throat
When you're drinking Coke
Keeps you up 'cause
there's nothing like Coke

* Footnote: "70's ludicrous" is a category of films from the late sixties through the seventies that are bold, experimental, "counter-cultural," sometimes tedious and often outrageous. It's my own designation. I know it when I see it.

Cleese?

From some angles, this guy looks to me like John Cleese.

But he isn't--I hope! He's a member of Winterband, the the world's gob-smackingest combo. They're a group of musically dull old hippified belligerent Christian rightwingers who created Obama Muslim 911, among other classics.

Thanks to The Awl for the marvelous collection of mind-rending videos.

Crow Smoking

Easily anthropomorphized animal photo, ergo comical. Details here.

Add that corvids are such striking and impish animals, and that these are perched on what appears to be a thatched or straw roof (in the Maldives, no less), and that the photographer is from Crowborough. There is little more to desire.

Slow and Sad

The world has one fewer compassionate soul: My mother has died.

Things will be slow here for a bit. From Billy Connolly's poem Tomes:

even though it never mentions my mother,
now that I think of her again,
who only last year rolled off the edge of the earth
in her electric bed,
in her smooth pink nightgown
the bones of her fingers interlocked,
her sunken eyes staring upward
beyond all knowledge,
beyond the tiny figures of history,
some in uniform, some not,
marching onto the pages of this incredibly heavy book.

Goodbye Mother.

The UK Press is different

I usually think much of the difference between the UK and US press is attributable to the nakedly partisan and sleazy nature of the UK tabloids. But even the broadsheets editorialize humorously in subheads of actual news stories:

Guardian: "Lord Mandelson denies incident is a metaphor for Labour's election campaign"

Made me laugh!

Common Misconceptions

List of common misconceptions - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "This list of common or popular misconceptions corrects various fallacious, misleading, or otherwise flawed ideas that are described by multiple reliable sources as widely held. The statements below are not the misconceptions, but are the actual facts regarding those misconceptions."

Most I knew. Some I didn't. Fun either way.

An Election I Can't Vote In

Comments on something about which I know only a little: the UK election. First, from UK Election Trend, polling summaries through today.
UK Election Trend analyzes this graph: "It's too close to call, and it seems like there will be no clear answer till the morning of the 7th. It does however look sure to be a hung parliament of some kind. "

UK Election Trend is fascinating. It's a bit more analytical and seemingly independent compared to the UK Polling Report, which I also visit a lot.

The Tory reaction to a hung Parliament (ditching their planned Party Political Broadcast and doing a pseudo-satire on the horrors of what Clegg and others are humorously calling a "balanced Parliament" ) indicates their utter fear of this outcome. Hilariously, they tried to get Armando Iannucci to direct it.

The sentiment of the UK is apparently more left-leaning than the current 2.5 party electoral system reflects. Perhaps a coalition could rework the electoral system to allow voter sentiments to be more closely tracked. A Liberal-Labour coalition could conceivably change the system and create a permanent minority Conservative Party. I'm pleased that I somewhat align with David Mitchell in that impulse.

The Tories would rather drink poisoned cider than change the electoral system. Their idea for "more democracy" is referenda and initiatives. Not necessarily awful ideas in themselves but which they plan to implement in a horrific manner (look at California for the wreckage left by such a system).

*^*^*^*

I've been considering why I find this election so fascinating, apart from my rank Anglophilia. I've assembled some reasons.

While the election is important to the UK, the outcome is, in all likelihood, of small consequence to my daily life (unless the BBC is affected!). I can enjoy the ins and outs without being emotional about them. It's hard to do that with elections in my own country.

By temperament and politics, I find the Tories pretty repellent. Labour seems old and tired. So the game-change that came from Clegg's performance in the first debate was thrilling, especially considering the fact that it happened during the first ever televised leadership debate in the UK.

I'd be satisfied if Murdoch took a whacking, and the LibDems aren't tied to Rupert as the other parties are. Murdoch is such a malign influence here in the USA: any comeuppance he gets is a boon to me.

And, ultimately, it's exciting, interesting, and a bit exotic. Yes: exotic, to this American.

*^*^*^*

Britain has a notoriously partisan press and I'm largely unfamiliar with the inclinations of the major papers. In order to "consider the source," I've often returned to this handy chart from the Guardian listing the parties the various publications have supported over the decades. Most helpful.

Click through for a commendable article about the Guardian meeting regarding their endorsement, as well as a click-sortable (and more legible) version of this table.

Loving Movies

Roger Ebert loves movies. He likes people who love movies.



I find this incredibly moving.

Good Start

Via BoingBoing, this nifty image of Murdoch merged with Cameron.

I suppose the image is in response to stories like this and this. If only enough Americans knew who Rupert Murdoch is (owner of Fox News and New York Post) for this to matter here in the States.

For what it's worth, Cameron's policies are largely to the left of anyone who could reasonably be expected to be President of the USA.

Automatedly Interesting

This UK election is fascinating. As Jonathan Freedland writes in The Guardian:

"No one knows anything." Talk to those whose opinions ordinarily come armour-plated and they'll admit they're flailing.

Not knowing much about the UK's political system, I thought I'd rip off my previous post and do a Google Search Terms comparison (kindly, they used the traditional party colors as their first three designators). Here's the past 30 days in Google search interest. Not surprising, I suppose. Of course, it was the first ever televised leadership debate that started this rollicking change.

Coincidence, surely

Thanks to Matt Yglesias

Two Mindless Dog Videos

Carnivorous Attack by Golden Retriever Puppies!


Dachshund Attacks Bubbles!

Freemasons, Jews, Gays To Blame

Caravaggio: St. Matthew and the Angel. Wikipedia.

The Vatican really is in a frenzy to blame everyone else for its institutional failings, as Wonkette points out. Yes: Freemasons, Jews, and Gays.

What's next: blaming seductive children?

Not next-- already! From December 2007, comments by the Bernardo Alvarez, Bishop of Tenerife:

His comments were that there are youngsters who want to be abused, and he compared that abuse to homosexuality, describing them both as prejudicial to society. He said that on occasions the abuse happened because the there are children who consent to it.
‘There are 13 year old adolescents who are under age and who are perfectly in agreement with, and what’s more wanting it, and if you are careless they will even provoke you’, he said.

Extremities

Photo by andy_5322 under creative commons

In a store today I saw something that I've seen advertised recently: Dr. Scholl's Footmapper. It purportedly helps one determine which shoe inserts to buy.

I didn't try it, but it did make me think of shoe store gizmos from before my time that I'd heard of. Fortunately, these quaint foot-cancer-inducing machines are documented on the web.

• Shoe-fitting x-ray machine at the Museum of Quackery.
• Shoe-fitting Fluoroscope at Oak Ridge Associated Universities.

Commerce never rests.

"English is our language. No excetions"

Feedom doesn't come free

News reports on various Tea Party protests show a shockingly high incidence of poor spelling. I give extra points to those doltish nativists demanding an English-only jurisdiction via a marquee with comical errors. Pargon has collected a few illiterate examples in the rollicking Flicker set called Teabonics.

UPDATE April 5: Amercia!

Chihuahua Despair, Akita Devotion

Linda Christian with her green-eyed Chihuahua, from frankphotos.

From the History of Science journal Endeavour comes the paper The nature of suicide: science and the self-destructive animal. It gives examples of reported animal suicide, including these from the 19th century:

• A "a fine, handsome and valuable black dog of the Newfoundland species" that drowned itself in 1845.
  
• A canvasback duck that drowned itself after its mate died.
  
• A cat that hanged itself following the death of its litter.
  
• A horse that jumped into a canal after years of mistreatment.
  
• Dogs that starved themselves on the graves of their masters.

I contribute an anecdote I ran across recently regarding Linda Christian (pictured above): actress, wife of Tyrone Power, and curator of a turbulent personal life:

"June 1964 her pet Chihuahua, jealous over the missing attention he receives over the bullfighters, jumps to his death from her terrace."

Poor grammar, I know, but you understand what the writer's getting at. Jilting a pet is bad enough, but with professional animal torturers?

[Lest this post about Linda Christian's chihuahua be considered just more of the currently fashionable Christian-bashing over "petty gossip," I must admit that the Chihuahua story verges on the sensational.]

On a more positive note, not all tales of the "human fails animal" genre end in suicide: some are uplifting. If you haven't heard of the loyal Hachikō (from which at least two feature films have been made including a recent one by Lasse Hallström), then you may want to read about the touching behavior of this extraordinary Akita.

For the record I prefer dopey but basically sensible larger dogs: herders; hounds; and retrievers, especially Labs. Hardly ever suicidal.

Thanks to Mind Hacks for pointing to the journal article which is informative and thoughtful, and which I am not attempting to do justice.

Beard of Honor

BYU Honor Code Office: What is the process for obtaining a beard exception?

What is that process? Well, to start, collegians-- non-discriminatorily, they do not specify male or female-- you must get a physician involved to sport a beard at BYU.

For those who aren't aware, Brigham Young University (BYU) is a large Mormon institution in Utah -- one of the most Republican states in the USA.

You know what's coming, right? This is a photograph of Mormon leader Brigham Young, after whom the University is named.

Brigham Young Image from Wikipedia.

Maybe Brigham couldn't wrangle the mustache rider to the beard exception.

By the way, Mr. Young had about 55 wives.

Thanks to drgrist