- Bush Passes Three-Pound Kidney Stone
- Crocodile Bites Off Bush's Arm
- Bush Tumbles Wildly Down Washington Monument Staircase
- Bush's Eyelid Accidentally Nailed To Wall
More to come, probably, until President Dumbass Disaster is gone.
And, as a salute to The Onion's clairvoyance, a piece from 2001 about Bush's first inauguration, the amazingly prescient Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'