Fantasies of the Onion Staff

From recent issues of The Onion

• Bush Passes Three-Pound Kidney Stone
  
• Crocodile Bites Off Bush's Arm
  
• Bush Tumbles Wildly Down Washington Monument Staircase
  
• Bush's Eyelid Accidentally Nailed To Wall
  

President Bush is resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital.

More to come, probably, until President Dumbass Disaster is gone.

And, as a salute to The Onion's clairvoyance, a piece from 2001 about Bush's first inauguration, the amazingly prescient Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'